Dear Sunday

Hello Clifton Forge! I’m so glad you’re back for more. You want advice? And I’m full of it. That’s right. Bursting at the seams and ready to let lose all over your faces with my sappy, gooey and delicious word porn. Thank you again for sending me your inner most secretive burdens in ink for me to parade all over the city with!

Want to seek advice from Ask Sunday? Contact Faeryn Murphy (TheresaHerondale)

Now, on to your problems!

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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My room mate is one of the best people I could have thought to move in with, HOWEVER they hid a dark scary secret. They’re a mother f*$%ing crazy shoe addict! We try to share storage and closet space, but there is just…NOTHING but SHOES. Normal shoes, special shoes, heels, worn out shoes that need to go in the trash, and a BUNCH of shoes that make it barely human possible to walk in at all! I’ve tried to talk them out of getting more or wearing such crazy things in the name of fashion, but it’s just not working. I even come too CLOSE to touching a shoe, THEY ACTUALLY GROWL AT ME. WHAT DO I DO HELP?!
Yours Truly,
Buried in Shoes
~~~{Your Reply}~~~
Dear Buried in Shoes,
A shoe fetish? This is not unheard of. Now, a normal advice counselor would give you some advice on how to speak to your roommate or even some great organizational options. And I could do that. Have a sit down. Do the sorting while they’re away, even if you have to pay for a weekend holiday for them without you. Maybe some crates, totes or those really cheesy looking over the door hanging things that always rip in like a week, leaving one shoe hanging precariously, scraping the wall every time you open the door? Right? But lets go more for the focus on this growling. It sounds more like your roommate’s obsession is a more… personal one? My advice? Move your stuff out and stop touching their private time friends. Hey, do not judge lest we be judged ourselves, right? Oh.. and always wash your hands if you have to touch them. Can’t be too careful.
❥Ask Sunday

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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My brother and I have been sharing rooms and apartments for a good many years now, and it usually works very well. We have no issue with who does the dishes or who takes out the trash, and even a somewhat similar taste when it comes to what furniture to get. But! He, who usually is very open minded about things, has a very strict policy regarding cutesy decorations, and he absolutely refuses anything that even resembles the color pink to be on display in our apartment. What do I do to change this? If I secretly redecorate, he’ll just throw my stuff out. Or worse, burn them.
Help!
Unicorn Tears
~~~{Your Reply}~~~
Dear Unicorn Tears,
Hmmm… This is a battle of stubborn personalities. So, my suggestion is this: Colour your hair pink. Wear punk clothes. Use lots of pink and cute accessories. Invest in a large bucket of glitter. Then, stand next to him everywhere in the apartment. Follow him everywhere and toss the glitter into the air around yourself every time he looks at you. I mean, he’s not going to burn you or anything. So, when he starts to get frustrated, tell him you’d be happy to stop if he gives on the decor topic. And he will resist. So have backup glitter. And even some of that silly string for when he comes home each day. Like a festive glitter, silly string welcome every time. You can even do that to him every time he gets out of the shower. Sooner or later, he will cave.
❥Ask Sunday

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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My casseroles keep burning. what should I do?
Signed,
Hot in Clifton
~~~{Your Reply}~~~
Dear Hot in Clifton,
Is casserole a pseudonym for something else? Is this a passive way of saying something I’m missing? If not, then I’d say to stop using your sex life as a timer and actually pay attention to the clock… or stop cooking. Maybe you’re just really bad at it.
❥Ask Sunday