Beware the puppy that follows you home

The Pajama Event at the Sip N’ Nip would have been just another party for doctor Celeste Starseed, an interesting one, full of beef cake, yes, but just that. But as we have learned quite often in Clifton Forge, things are never what we expect.

The doctor was wearing a green aqua pajama, looking cute, and maybe a bit prude, considering that most of the patrons at the club were almost naked with a few exceptions. One of those, was one of her patients who was dressed like a puppy. The patient, which we would call Mr. Puppy for legal purposes, approached Dr. Starseed, and all seemed well in the world. They talk, they drank, but things never crossed any dangerous line that might endanger the doctor-patient relationship.

Close to 4:00 am, when most of the customers had left the club, the doctor, a bit tipsy, headed back home, but decided to stop at her office first. Unknown to the doctor, Mr. Puppy was following her.

I was on my way home when I got a message asking for help. Someone had taken my pants by accident but I decided to make my way to the clinic. Inside Dr. Starseed office, Mr. Puppy babbled agitatedly, looking in the border of turning hysteric. Dr. Starseed herself looked calm, but a shiver in her hands betrayed her real emotional state.

I opened the door and told the doctor I came looking for her for a midnight snack (our night version of brunch). I was sure I was being subtle, but Mr. Puppy was farther into he rabbit hole than I thought. He become hysteric, talking about dark lords and blood, and attacked the doctor aiming for her throat.

But as the doctor might say in a moment of clarity: fear, while it is a primordial emotion, in the right quantities is also a survival mechanism.
Fear made the doctor step away from Mr. Puppy so his hand missed her, an instead of strangling her, he only ripped her pretty pajamas.

Things would have gotten out of hand if it hasn’t been for two fortuitous situations: I had my Taser with me and ready, and Jack P., a friend of Dr. Starseed, arrived to check on her. Things happened fast, and while we are told not to become the news, sometimes you just react. Tamer in hand I entered the room and stunned Mr. Puppy long enough me to push Dr. Starseed out of the office and Jack to turn off the lights and close just as we came out.

We waited a long moment for Mr. Puppy to try to break the door, but we only heard sobbing from the inside, apparently the worst of the ezquizophrenic episode (as the doctor assumed and confirmed days later) had ended. We left soon after while the personel in turn went for Mr. Puppy to get him into observation.

The night had ended in a mixture of lows and highs for the doctor and after a couple days under observation Mr. Puppy went back home under a friend’s supervision. All in all, a night to remember.

Jiriel Fenix

Dance, Cosplay and Drama

The month-long LARP event based on the Tears of Blood series by the prominent author T.E. Johns came to an end with a grandiloquent Vampire Ball, where guests and organizers appeared not only in their best clothes but cosplaying characters from the ToB novels and other series around the existence of vampires.

T.E. Johns, who kindly took the time to sign a few books, appeared in the role of her character Embry Penrose and was accompanied by Clifton Forge Mayor Vishaal Kuran, who was cosplaying as Raven Cromwell another of John’s main characters appearing in “Vampire Republic”. Other characters personified during the party were Lincoln Pierce, Betty the Swamp Witch, Kace Halifax and many more, making the whole night a complete success for the author and the organization behind the event.

Author T.E Johns Aka Haley Carlisle and Major Vishaal Khuran

John’s looked a bit tense and tired, which we attributed to the long event probably taking its toll on the author after a whole month. Still, when interviewed about her next work, she graciously answered that it would come out soon; and that in the meantime, she is working in a deal for a movie. So, we might see Emily Penrose, Lincoln Pierce, Sir Cadmus Pierce, Lolth Okami and all the others soon on the big screen. Hopefully, faithful to the source material.

Later in the night the real reasons for the tension was revealed when a woman, identified as Coira, confronted the author, apparently in what seems like a casual banter, but T.E. Johns was having none of it. The offended author’s reply revealed that, following with the influx of crime in Clifton Forge, she had been attacked recently. The fight was quickly defused, but it showed the underlying tension and that things might not be as good in paradise as our famous author would like to make us believe.

Still, we celebrate T.E. Johns work and will be waiting for her next book and, hopefully, a movie. Meanwhile you can check her latest work “a Rose Among the Wilten,” which you can find in your local bookstore or you can buy online.

-Jiriel Fenix

Therapy, The Effective Kind: Wolff Psychiatric Services

Imagine that a close friend of yours has been suffering from a longstanding psychological condition.Their symptoms are severe and agonizing; damaging their work and intimate relationships. The most effective treatment for their disorder has been known for over three decades, so you would reasonably assume that they would obtain it from any licensed mental health professional. Your assumption would likely be wrong. Meet Dr. Wolff. Dr. Wolff, MD helps show you that balancing your mental and physical is not only a science; it’s an art. He’ll help you evaluate your specific concerns and work with you to develop a clear and practical plan; supporting you through the process of improving your life. He specializes in trauma, mood disorders, developmental disorders, PTSD, addiction, domestic violence, and medication management. Getting help doesn’t mean crisis, it means you’re taking your life back. Let Dr. Wolff help you take your life back by scheduling an appointment with him today.

Presenting: Humans of Clifton Forge

It’s well known that we all come from somewhere. Some of us are born right here in Clifton Forge while the rest of us come from all over the country… Maybe even all over the world. Regardless of where we come from, we are all part of the same desire to be seen, be known, be loved. Clifton Forge Telegraph presents it’s new running articles called Humans of Clifton Forge; a book of street portraits and interviews collected from all walks of life on the streets of our city – modeled after Humans of New York. This will allow us to experience others in the way we never thought we would. Read the stories, connect with one another and maybe make some new friends. Blair Stagger will be cruising up and down the avenues; collecting stories from Clifton Forge citizens as she sees them. Feel free to leave a submission that you would like an interview to be featured in this new series of audaciously private, inspiring, and raw stories

Dear Auntie Em…

Dear Auntie Em,
My wife and I have been married for five years now. She makes a casserole with fried spam, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn and she’d been making it for me since we were dating. Usually I find an excuse to leave the house long enough to get McDonald’s after dinner as I always eat less on casserole nights. Well I was caught. Now my wife is mad at me. She’d giving me a death glare as I write this.
Eating Dinner in the Dog House

Dear Dog House,
First of all, that casserole sounds intriguing. Spam is not a favorite of mine, but few things are not improved by frying. That said, your wife is likely not upset because you don’t like the food, but because you hid it from her for so long. I think we often get so caught up with not hurting our partner’s feelings that we walk on egg shells and forget that they are adults and perfectly capable of handling mild upsets. If your wife cannot trust you to be open and honest about the small things, how can she trust you to be open with the much more important things? In committed relationships, sometimes there might be times when things must be hidden, like if your job requires it. That said, there needs to be an understanding between the partners that topics regarding the ‘no fly zone’ are off limits. That said, this needs to be mutually understood and accepted by both people in the relationship. Everything else should be discussed open and honestly. Now have a chat with your wife.
Sincerely, Auntie Em

Dear Auntie Em,
My 16 year old wants a tattoo. I have no issue with them getting the tattoo and will happily sign the paperwork so it can happen for them. The issue is that she wants a tattoo of a donut. I asked her why, thinking there was some meaning behind it. Her response? “I like donuts.” I feel like that if I’m allowing her to get a tattoo at 16 than I should be able to approve it before it happens. For me to approve this, I feel like there has to be some sort of thought put into it. Am I wrong? What do I do?
Tattoo Momma

Dear Tattoo,
This question is a bit tricky. In many ways, yes, you have a say in what your child puts on their body. Offensive things, profanity, nudity, they can all get the parental veto, but a donut? As parents, we want the best for our children. In this moment, you believe you know what’s best for your daughter. Perhaps she wants the donut tattoo because she likes it now, but in twenty years, she might look at that tattoo and see a reminder of her youth and spontaneity. My own mother used to remind me to pick my battles and now I am telling you the same. Let your daughter get the tattoo. Your only responsibility now is to ensure it’s high quality.
Sincerely, Auntie Em

Chaos Continued

Dear citizens of Clifton Forge. I hope you have all been well since I wrote to you last, and that you are enjoying your summer, and all that it brings. Our town is a beautiful place during the summer months, and has offered a wide array of entertainment, from poetry reading and bbqs on the beach to vampire themed raves in keeping with the ongoing city wide larp brought to our sleepy little town this month. 

But everything is not fun and games, and while the zombie hooker on the corner and the charming vampire dandy picking up boys or girls at the Sip are most likely nothing but harmless fun and role play for those who are so inclined, the world and life still goes on for others. And crime goes on with it. Because of these crimes, this issue of the Telegraph is somewhat shorter than what you have probably come to expect, since our office has been out of commission. The photography competition, in collaboration with the new photo club has unfortunately also had to be postponed until a later date.

Lonely Dove owner Murphy Daughtery together with husband Light. Private picture

We are currently seeing a new wave hitting our dear city. As with the last wave, where business like Trax on Wax, the Sip’n Bite and Suds were targeted, these last two weeks have seen the quaint little Irish pub, the Lonely Dove, blown to fiery hell and the Telegraph office smashed to pieces. And yes, you might think that these are all just business, and at least not people’s homes. Think again. Clifton Forge is a small, tight knit community, where business owners not only rely on their business from their income, but base their entire life around what they have created and share with the rest of the community. The destruction brought upon these premises change not only facades, but entire lives. And that’s without mentioning the pain and suffering, possibly even death, caused by these attacks. 

Fortunately, no one was at the Telegraph office when it was vandalised, but the owner and guests at the Lonely Dove were not so fortunate when the criminals struck again, with at least one person hospitalized and one other known victim , owner Murphy Daughtery’s husband, Light Daughtery, deceased. 

As only a peripheral victim in these attacks, but more so as a concerned citizen, I, Caspian Douglas want to encourage everyone to please, be valiant, and if you see something suspicious, report it to your local sheriff’s office. Together we can make Clifton Forge safe again.

Ink Night at the Sip’n Bite

Inked owner Paislee Kleinfield

Last Friday night (August 8th) the halls of the club filled with ink enthusiasts under the auspice of madam Vivianna who oversaw a packed establishment. The usual crowd and newcomers, brim with energy and sensuality, arrived all along the evening, probably attracted by the mixture of naked flesh, the free bar, and the opportunity of earning a new tattoo during the “Show us your tatts” part of the evening.

The event, sponsored by Paislee Kleinfield, owner of Inked, drew all kinds of participants flamboyantly showing their ink work. When asked for the reasons for the event miss Kleinfield told us “half the reason people get tattoos is cause they’re pretty and they want to show them off. I figure why not dedicate a whole night to it?”

Of course, the event will be good publicity to her miss Paislee’s shop, as the ink artist mentioned, and as the etiquette of the Sip N’ Bite is lax on the type or quantity of clothing inside the club, the marriage (if just for a night) seems like a match made in heaven… or a contract made by a succubus from hell.

Some of the designs on display during the evening.

Of course, the event was more than just a business enterprise. “Think of it as the same concept as an art gallery,” said miss Paislee, “except instead of canvas it’s skin. Everyone likes looking at well-done art, just cause it’s on a person doesn’t change that. And by sponsoring it gets the name of the shop and my artists out there and on the radar for the people in town who didn’t know about us, to begin with.”

And with that in mind, if you are curious about learning more about tattoos, or getting one for yourself (just make sure you are not drunk and under a bet, as this reporter can attest) go take a look at Inked, which is located in Railroad Av., besides the Brothers Grimm Bakery and our own office, just across from the Police Station.

– Photos and text Jiriel Fenix

Cold garbage

CLIFTON FORGE, Va. — it was seven years ago when a mysterious garbage bag was found by local fishermen on Clifton Lake. The bag contained the dismembered body of local resident Joanne Moonling. Autopsies revealed that the 47 year old single mother had died from mysterious causes.

Joanne had been missing for 6 months when her remains were found. At the time she left behind her 17 year old son Ash Moonling. Joanne’s killer was never caught and the case is still open till this day. The only suspect in the cases was her son Ash Moonling. Family friends claimed the two had a dysfunctional relationship that could have led to the murder.

However, no evidence has ever been found nor confirmed. “It’s obvious that it was her son.” Said neighbor Kevin Pratt. “The Moonlings rarely had guests. The boy was living there alone for two months till he reported her missing.”

Before Joanne went missing police had been called to the residents twice before due to claims of abuse and violence between the two. Ash Moonling served six months in a Virgina correctional facility for boy’s in 2012 for domestic violence. He filed claims against his Mother that were dropped shortly after. He was released from the correction facility in early 2013 three weeks before his mother’s disappearance.

Recently when asked to comment on his mother’s murder Ash Moonling refused to speak claiming that he had no involvement. The case remains cold however Joanne Moonling has not been forgotten. If you have any information on this case it is advised that you contact the Clifton Forge Sheriff’s Office.

-Amber Greene

From a Concerned Citizen

When tragedy strikes, we look to those in power for guidance. We look to the leaders to see what step to take next. From the recent attacks on local businesses such as the Sip n’ Bite and Suds to a body washing upon the shores of our town, it appears as though leadership is not to be found. The recently elected mayor hides within his office. When he is seen out, it is not where he should be. Instead of comforting and reassuring the residents of Clifton Forge that justice will prevail and that they are safe within their own community, he has been found at Roady’s, participating by judging a wet t-shirt contest as well as visiting for their latest event which saw mayor Vishaal Khuran stripping his shirt off and riding upon a mechanical bull.

Everyone is allowed their fun and pleasure, there is no question of that. However, when a community is concerned, when the residents are frightened of what is going on within their town, those in leadership roles should be looking for ways to help the general population. This small town of Clifton Forge has become home to many, myself included. I know many who voted for Mr. Khuran, and I will openly admit that I did as well with hope of seeing a community that is bettered by the leadership of someone placed into the position. The article recently printed within the Telegraph shows that while Mr. Khuran shows interest in helping the community, he is not seeing the big picture and he is not seeing the very serious impacts from the recent tragedies within the local community.

So far, while Mr. Khuran promised a great deal, his promises have fallen flat. We have not heard from the mayor. Not a single statement from his office has been made, not a single word heard. No news conferences have been put together.

Instead, the mayor remains a turtle hiding with his head in his shell. Mr. Khuran, it is time for you to lead the people of this town. We elected you for a reason. Be the leader that we wanted, be the leader that we elected. You have failed this town with your silence, Mr. Khuran.


A concerned resident of Clifton Forge