Chaos unfolding upon Clifton Forge

I have yet to either introduce myself or thought it relevant to write a leader for any Telegraph issue. But now it seems at last it is appropriate I take the time to do so. My name is Caspian Douglas, and I have worked for newspapers like the Guardian, Die Zeit and the Herald before moving to settle down in the town of Clifton Forge which I’m now proud to call my home.

During my time here I have followed a mayor’s rise to power, seen the change of leads at the local clinic and gotten to know the town’s many colourful residents. Regrettably I have also had to witness, report on and been made aware of the criminal and violent side of Clifton Forge, and although I strongly support our Sheriff, Max Holden, I would like to take the opportunity to ask everyone out there to look out for one another. 

In a town where even the local priest is an avid fan of the Matrix, and easily convinced that one of the actors is in town to hand out autographs, people trade in dog’s teeth to fool aged men into believing into the unnatural, and where some young men are scared of the dark and others see it fit to wear arms and armour in broad daylight, just for fun, it is easy to worry, as an outsider, that when a New York times bestselling author invites everyone for a town wide larp, chaos and confusion will be soon to follow. 

This is why I now, as someone who has come to see this town as my home, despite the crime and violence I have to report on, urge all citizens to be careful during these festivities, and please, please use only soft rubber weapons in the coming games. I think it’s safe to say that no one wants any additional bloodshed. 

With this in mind, please go out there and enjoy yourself! And look to our last page for a tasty home made recipe on fake blood!

Ps. We at the Clifton Forge would like to apologize for our delay in publishing, but unfortunately one of our reporters became a little too excited when writing up her article and refused to let it go.

A promising collaboration

There have been a few noticeable chances around our sleepy little town. We have not only a new mayor in office but there has been a changeover at the Clifton Forge clinic! Dr. Dallas Crowley has taken up the reins as Director, and now the two of them are teaming up to make Clifton Forge a healthier place to live.

Our reporter, Caspian Douglas, has sat down with each of them in order to give our readers an idea of what the future might hold for us. As Dr. Crowley describes it “The Clinic is up for some critical upgrades.”

With Dr. Dallas Crowley and Mayor Vishaal Khuran working together it looks as though Clifton Forge will have a bright future. Some of the plans they have in work involve facilitating funding through donations and government (state wide and federal). They hope to use these funds to accomplish multiple improvements within Clifton Forge such as:

  • Creating a cheaper and more readily available prescription program for much needed and life saving medications including: insulin, epinephrine, chemotherapy treatments, anticonvulsants, and steroids.
  • Increasing the mental health program availability to allow for more counseling services available for our citizens. Especially given the trauma our city has faced in the recent weeks.
  • Create a better rehabilitation program aimed at fighting opioid addiction and maintaining care during recovery. 
  • Creating a medical exchange program for expensive but necessary medical equipment such as needles.

Dr. Crowley was clear in pointing out that the health and wellbeing of this community’s inhabitants is of paramount importance to her and that she will go above and beyond to ensure that any needs shall be met. And, with the help of Mr. Khuran the future looks bright for those who need medical assistance within our fair city.

According to Dr. Crowley, an opioid program was started by her predecessor before she stepped into the role of director and she intends to pursue it. She’s also in negotiations with the insurance companies contracted with local businesses, working with them on implementing wellness programs that will allow for decreased premiums for enrolled members.

“As I said, sir, I take this job seriously and I consider it my personal responsibility to look after the health of those who call Clifton Forge, home. Whatever needs this community has, they will be addressed. Luckily for me, I happen to work with a Mayor who fully supports my efforts.”
-Dr. Dallas Crowley

I for one am excited to see where Dr. Crowley and Mr. Khuran are able to take us in the future and as a citizen of Clifton Forge I will do my best to assist them in reaching these goals. They are doing their best to build a brighter, healthier, future for us all and the Telegraph is behind them 100%.

-Caspian Douglas

Dr. Dallas Crowley and Mayor Vishaal Khuran /Photo: Otto Munch

Et tu, Gabriella?

The Roman party at the Sip’n Bite ended in a violent and bloody note when a mysterious woman, very in the spirit of the night, stabbed Doctor Selena Cain with what appears to be a short sword. The woman, identified by some as Gabriella Flores escaped before anyone could stop her. Later the paramedics mentioned that if it hadn’t been for the doctor’s friends and a few other guests taking part in the festivity who were able to stabilize miss Cain, the night would have ended in tragedy. Doctor Selena Cain was taken to the local clinic to be attended and the doctors hope she will recover soon.
-Jiriel Fenix

Image: Jiriel Fenix

In the service of our Lord

Our reporter Caspian Douglas has sat down with Father Ocampo of the local Catholic Church to talk about the state of our town, as well as many other intriguing stories. 

What our reporter assumed would be the normal routine of a priest enraged at the newly appointed mayor attending events where young women flaunt their bodies, as indicated by a proceeding phone call to set up the interview, turned into something with a bit more flavour. And although the wet t-shirt contest in question was indeed discussed, this motorcycle riding dog and cat loving Father of the church had so much more to share. 

Father Ocampo was transferred to Clifton Forge to restore the Christian Faith in our community three months ago, and confesses to only one sin. Over eating. Besides this sin, and the already mentioned love for animals, the priest, who has served for about twenty years at this point in time is perhaps best described as an old man with a young, vivid mind. He describes himself as a fan of Christian rock music, and, he points out, just a person like everyone else. This is what he wants others to see when he meets his congregation. Someone who is just like them. 

A well meaning and good natured, understanding man, the Father says that although he has met many Christians in Clifton Forge, very few actually come to visit the Church itself. Something he attributes to millennials and their way of thinking and using the internet to connect to each other, rather than to meet in a quote “Stuffy old building”. For these reasons, Father Ocampo has focused on meeting people outside of the Church as well. He gives as an example how he loves to debate with one of the young men working at Roady’s, and how he feels he in this way has a part in helping him sort out his life. He wants people to see that not only is he, but also god, there to listen, talk and debate, and points out that now more than ever does the Catholic Church need to listen to young people and work with them, more than to stick to their old ways and shun them. As long as it doesn’t harm others. 

The father wants to thank all of Clifton Forge for the love and prayers and all the donations and work put in to keep the congregation working, and to connect with the young people out there, suggests using the hashtag #prayforclifton , although our reporter, who is openly agnostic, remains to this date a little uncertain in what context. It might even have been an attempt at a joke by the jolly old man. But who knows, as they say God works in mysterious ways. 

After much talking, among which our reporter was kindly invited to come and visit the church, which he regretfully has not yet managed to do, some prayer and discussions of love the interview at last found its way to the topic of which the father had wanted to come and talk about. The state of the town and our new Mayor. 

After drinking some of the water offered by our reporter and clearing his throat, the priest went on to say this about our new Mayor: 

“Now about this new mayor, I find it troubling that while our own Clifton businesses are getting attacked. Including the lovely  Sumaya Abdi, who i will mention gave me the most amazing bath soap i’ve ever had. Has not once come out and made a public statement on these attacks. Instead he has been supported by nightclubs, and doing wet T-shirt contests. Spraying young women who had no intent to participate in it.  I have come here to beg our mayor, please your city needs you. Be a proper example, do what you said you would in your campaign, I have yet to see one public outing of you making Clifton cleaner. Yet when you said there was nothing out of the ordinary regarding the levels of crime in our city. Yet we have masked criminals still on the loose!” 

“For the rest of you out there. I will pray for you, and support you. We should all go visit Suds, and help a young business out while they are recovering from the damages to their store.”

As the interview was about to wrap up however, and talk turned briefly to the crime levels in town, it all took a turn toward the strange. With our reporter briefly mentioning an interview in which he spoke to Special Agent Alex Smith about the raid on the Tavola Calda, it seemed the priest was at once convinced of some sort of conspiracy against him, where actor Mr Hugo Weaving would be in town, made up as his character Agent Smith from the Matrix movie franchise. The priest did seem very excited about the prospect of meeting the actor and get his autograph, as well as to perhaps get to hear a line from one of his movies, in person. 

It turns out Father Ocampo is also a huge fan of the Matrix, and has even written some online fanfiction on the character Neo, and how he is very much like that of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately however our reporter could not offer the old priest the opportunity to meet neither Neo, Agent Smith or Hugo Weaving in person. But who knows, with events that are about to unfold in town over the coming month, who might show up? Of this can only be said, that God works in mysterious ways. 

-Caspian Douglas


There is a new club in town! The Clifton Forge Camera Club is working with the Telegraph to host a photography contest. The theme is simple! Your favorite place in Clifton Forge! Help take us on a visual tour of the city and vote on the photographs you like the most. The photos entered will be put on exhibit at a secret location and the winner’s photo will be the new header for the Telegraph and be featured in the following issue!

A warning

An old Irish Story adapted from Murphy of the Lonely Dove.

Long ago in a small Irish town, there lived a girl. She had vibrant fiery hair and shimmering emerald eyes. She had the chance for an amazing life. One where she would never had to worry for anything. That is the life she could have had, had she of simply listened to others. One day, when the sun had reached its peak in the sky, this girl heard a call from the woods. “Come to us, child. Come,” the woodland spirits called. Yet the girl chose to not listen. Instead of running off to the woods full of fae folk, she ran along the river banks. Past the murky and choppy waters while the spirits begged for her to come to them. All too quickly, the waters stopped and fell, and the each dropped off to nothing. The girl had reached the end of the world. “Don’t go,” cried the spirits. “It is dangerous to take the stairs.” Curiosity and stubbornness had gotten the better of the girl, and she chose to go down regardless. At every level, the girl found pain and anguish. Mentally, physically, and spiritually, she was punished. She found all of the horrors of the world. Torture, rape, murder, even the loss of those she loved. With each horror, she started to rot. Her hair darkened to that of inky coal and her eyes clouded over. Her rosy skin paled and decayed. Slowly she rotted and decayed until there was nothing left but the little pink bow she wore in her once flaming hair. When she finally reached the bottom, the girl who had everything was dead. From her decaying corpse, a devil grew. The dark spirit flew back up to the end of world, back to the mortal realm. There she would seek revenge on others like her. There she would torture and rot any other foolish girl who chose to not heed the calls of the woodland spirits.
-A. Leon Volkov


The Sheriff’s department is currently seeking help from the community in finding out about a body that was washed up on the shore this weekend. They are looking for anyone who may be able to identify the person as well as anyone who may have seen anything that could shed light on the circumstances of their death. If you know anything, please contact or visit the station. 

According to local sources two separate shootings have occurred in the local park during these past two weeks. Perhaps the mayor and the local authorities need to look into the safety of the park in question and work out how to transform it into an area where citizens no longer have to fear for their lives?

Local bar owner Murphy Daughtery was recently bereft of her hand. If anyone knows its whereabouts or have seen or heard anything in regards to the perpetrator, please contact or visit the local Sheriff’s department. 

On the 28th of July, one man with a flamethrower attacked a group of people outside the local clinic. The brave Dr. Andonia Doll managed to bring her colleagues to safety while also alerting the emergency services. In the altercation, where one person in the group appears to have retaliated, one person was killed and another sent to hospital. 

A book review and an invite, rolled into one

As far as anyone has known, famous author E.T. Johns has been shrouded in mystery. Countless attempts to uncover their identity have been made as they publish book after book of the dynamic vampire drama romance series, Tears of Blood. Teens and adults alike rush to get their hands on the latest book set in the supernatural world E.T. Johns weaves to follow the protagonist, dark-headed vampire Embry Penrose, as she realizes what it’s like to live and love as a vampire amidst her rivals, werewolves and hunters, as well as other powerful vampires, witches, and even the occasional human. Longtime fans hold out hope for the identity of Embry’s infamous Sire to be revealed in the upcoming release. Tears of Blood has remained popular for years, holding New York Times Bestseller awards for each installation. Despite this, not much is known of the author who keeps a very private life but sometimes leaves hints in the books as to their identity. No one has cracked that mystery. Until now. The Clifton Telegraph brings you the name of E.T. Johns after so many years in hiding. Drum roll please…

Haley Carlisle.

And that’s not all. She’s in Clifton, and she has been for months now, telling our interviewers that she found inspiration in this small town in the middle of nowhere. She cites that it made her stop and write her newest installation of Tears of Blood right here. In addition, she’s set up a game for all of Clifton to participate in the hopes of ramping up expectations for the release of her new book, The Rose Amongst the Wilted. A book signing will be held, but that’s not even the start of the fun Ms. Carlisle has planned for us. She notes that we may look forward to both DarkCon, a gaming convention to be held in the Clifton Hotel on August 24th, and The Vampire Ball, an event on August 29th ((2 PM SLT)) for fans to dress as vampires and to promote the release of E.T. John’s latest. 

But wait! That’s not where it ends.

She asks us to use our imaginations, inspired by the Tears of Blood series, to LARP (live action role-play) our own scenarios or ones directly from the book. Become your very own vampire, victim, hunter, werewolf, even witch, and act in the streets, engaged in fights or soapy romances, as if we live in this very supernatural world of Tears of Blood! It only gets more juicy (or bloody in the fun of it all). Fans from all around will join us, so don’t be shy, go all out. Dress in custom-made outfits or as the characters themselves. Perhaps you choose the sexy, mysterious werewolf that seems to be intertwined with her fate, Axel Knight, or maybe the hunter she plays a sexy game of cat and mouse with, Kace Halifax. Then, there is the devastatingly beautiful but wicked witch, Raven Cromwel, and the villainous, pompous, and rich head vampire Sir Cadmus Pierce as he tries to marry her off to his handsome son and prominent Vampire Prince, Lincoln Pierce. 

Of course, those are only a select few of the fan favorites, not to mention all of the recurring victims and occasional allies, including the Roller Babes, the Cotton Candy California Girls, Lion’s Den Biker Gang, and the Italian Mafia, all sprinkled with supernaturals and humans alike. Who will you be? Will you create a new character? Ms. Carlisle is also offering an app for those that participate and create the most LARP as well as interesting storylines, characters, and outfits to which will be judged for points by herself and her PR team. The person who is the most unique will be chosen and revealed in the most dramatic of ways at the Vampire Ball alongside E.T. Johns herself. There are other prizes involved, including a personal mention in the book, the chance to meet with the bestselling author herself, and a mystery prize not to be revealed until the Ball itself. The app is now available in the App Store and is titled Tears of Blood. 

We encourage you all to download the app and create profiles, either private or public, to display what you wish for Haley and her team to judge. Join the swarming fans of Tears of Blood and do justice to the newest, The Rose Amongst the Wilted, and pick up your copy coming soon! The Telegraph expects to see Clifton buzzing with LARP in the passing weeks. Share with your friends and family so all can join in the fanging fun! Who knows? Perhaps Ms. Carlisle herself will be watching or even join you herself. Be on the lookout!

Until the Vampire Ball, my readers.

“You may only have lived eighteen years, but I have stalked you for eight hundred.” -Haley Carlisle AKA E.T. Johns

-Amber Greene

Dear Aunty Em…

Dear Auntie Em,
My sister is dating someone I don’t approve of. He’s not good enough for her. How do I convince her? Signed,
Brother Bear

Dear Brother Bear,
To put it simply, you don’t. Assuming she is an adult and fully capable of making her own decisions, you allow her to choose her own life partner. Should her choice prove to be the wrong one, all you can do is be there for her like a good big brother. If you love your sister, trust her.
Signed Auntie Em

Aunty Em,
I’ve met a woman, I really like her. I know it’s too early to tell for sure, but indications make me think she could be “The One”. The problem is, her family hates me. They hate me for my race. She’s tried to reason with them, but they responded abusively. I don’t want to be a wedge between her and her family, but I don’t think I could ever be part of them. What do I do?

Dear Anonymous,
Her family likely wants the best for her but has the wrong idea of what that might be. Don’t give up on her. If her family loves her and she wants to be with you, then in time they will learn to accept what they cannot change. Love has a way of changing people and situations, and if you care that strongly for her and act accordingly, than they will see that. That said, your relationship is between the two of you. As nice as a blessing is, it is not required.
Auntie Em

Dear Auntie Em,
My husband won’t let me drive our car because I’m a woman. Help!

Dear Stereotyped,
The first thing I would ask you to do is to take a good long hard look at yourself. Are you a bad driver? Could it perhaps be that and not a question of your gender? Secondly, is this your only car? I find some men are protective of their cars and will not allow anyone at all to drive it. If neither of those are the case then a good conversation needs had. If he refuses to see how harmful his mind set is then it may be time for a new husband.
Sincerely Auntie Em

Dear Aunty Em,
My boyfriend has numerous female friends. It makes me uncomfortable but he refuses to stop being their friend. What do I do?
Jealous GF

Dear Jealous, Has your boyfriend promised exclusivity to you? Has he given you any reason aside from this to doubt that he’s remained true to that promise? You could both have a conversation and set boundaries. Compromise. That said, you should look inside yourself and figure out what is causing this insecurity. Do you feel like you are not good enough? Perhaps you’ve been hurt in the past by an unfaithful partner. It is the root of your fear that should be addressed, more so than the friendships he chooses to keep.
Auntie Em