My sister divorced her husband of 15 years six months ago. About three months later, she started dating a guy- Potatoes, we’ll call him- as well as about 4 other guys at the same time. That didn’t bother me. She’d been married young, never got to experience stuff, so if anything, I was glad for her. I wasn’t a fan of Potatoes. I call him Potatoes because he has all the personality of unseasoned boiled potatoes. He’s nice enough, just boring and a bit of a braggart. Well, my sister came to me a week ago and informed me that Potatoes had proposed and she’d said yes after three month of dating. I think its way to fast and told her as much. She’d really upset that I’m not thrilled, but I feel like faking my excitement would be like lying to her. What do I do?
First let me start by saying that I can tell how much you love your sister. It is truly heartwarming. I understand that you want what’s best. That said, her life is not yours. Its a fairly uncommon occurrence for a sibling to back off of a love interest just because a sibling tells them to, so I’m not really sure what you expected. Perhaps you’re not thrilled about the marriage, but I am sure that you would want to support your sister. It could very well be that she is afraid of being alone, rebounding, or even truly in love and ready to be married again. You should be there for her regardless. My recommendation is have one last conversation with her. Tell her that you will get behind it as long as she promises you that if she has even one moment of doubt, she will call it off. So many people doubt their marriage before they get there, but follow through because they’ve put in too much money, or the invitations have gone out. Let her know that if she has a moment of doubt, that you will be there, not judging her, when she cancels. Give her the safe space she needs to admit and own the mistake, if that is indeed what it is, before she follows through.