Dear Auntie Em…

Dear Auntie Em,
My wife and I have been married for five years now. She makes a casserole with fried spam, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn and she’d been making it for me since we were dating. Usually I find an excuse to leave the house long enough to get McDonald’s after dinner as I always eat less on casserole nights. Well I was caught. Now my wife is mad at me. She’d giving me a death glare as I write this.
Eating Dinner in the Dog House

Dear Dog House,
First of all, that casserole sounds intriguing. Spam is not a favorite of mine, but few things are not improved by frying. That said, your wife is likely not upset because you don’t like the food, but because you hid it from her for so long. I think we often get so caught up with not hurting our partner’s feelings that we walk on egg shells and forget that they are adults and perfectly capable of handling mild upsets. If your wife cannot trust you to be open and honest about the small things, how can she trust you to be open with the much more important things? In committed relationships, sometimes there might be times when things must be hidden, like if your job requires it. That said, there needs to be an understanding between the partners that topics regarding the ‘no fly zone’ are off limits. That said, this needs to be mutually understood and accepted by both people in the relationship. Everything else should be discussed open and honestly. Now have a chat with your wife.
Sincerely, Auntie Em

Dear Auntie Em,
My 16 year old wants a tattoo. I have no issue with them getting the tattoo and will happily sign the paperwork so it can happen for them. The issue is that she wants a tattoo of a donut. I asked her why, thinking there was some meaning behind it. Her response? “I like donuts.” I feel like that if I’m allowing her to get a tattoo at 16 than I should be able to approve it before it happens. For me to approve this, I feel like there has to be some sort of thought put into it. Am I wrong? What do I do?
Tattoo Momma

Dear Tattoo,
This question is a bit tricky. In many ways, yes, you have a say in what your child puts on their body. Offensive things, profanity, nudity, they can all get the parental veto, but a donut? As parents, we want the best for our children. In this moment, you believe you know what’s best for your daughter. Perhaps she wants the donut tattoo because she likes it now, but in twenty years, she might look at that tattoo and see a reminder of her youth and spontaneity. My own mother used to remind me to pick my battles and now I am telling you the same. Let your daughter get the tattoo. Your only responsibility now is to ensure it’s high quality.
Sincerely, Auntie Em

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