Chaos Continued

Dear citizens of Clifton Forge. I hope you have all been well since I wrote to you last, and that you are enjoying your summer, and all that it brings. Our town is a beautiful place during the summer months, and has offered a wide array of entertainment, from poetry reading and bbqs on the beach to vampire themed raves in keeping with the ongoing city wide larp brought to our sleepy little town this month. 

But everything is not fun and games, and while the zombie hooker on the corner and the charming vampire dandy picking up boys or girls at the Sip are most likely nothing but harmless fun and role play for those who are so inclined, the world and life still goes on for others. And crime goes on with it. Because of these crimes, this issue of the Telegraph is somewhat shorter than what you have probably come to expect, since our office has been out of commission. The photography competition, in collaboration with the new photo club has unfortunately also had to be postponed until a later date.

Lonely Dove owner Murphy Daughtery together with husband Light. Private picture

We are currently seeing a new wave hitting our dear city. As with the last wave, where business like Trax on Wax, the Sip’n Bite and Suds were targeted, these last two weeks have seen the quaint little Irish pub, the Lonely Dove, blown to fiery hell and the Telegraph office smashed to pieces. And yes, you might think that these are all just business, and at least not people’s homes. Think again. Clifton Forge is a small, tight knit community, where business owners not only rely on their business from their income, but base their entire life around what they have created and share with the rest of the community. The destruction brought upon these premises change not only facades, but entire lives. And that’s without mentioning the pain and suffering, possibly even death, caused by these attacks. 

Fortunately, no one was at the Telegraph office when it was vandalised, but the owner and guests at the Lonely Dove were not so fortunate when the criminals struck again, with at least one person hospitalized and one other known victim , owner Murphy Daughtery’s husband, Light Daughtery, deceased. 

As only a peripheral victim in these attacks, but more so as a concerned citizen, I, Caspian Douglas want to encourage everyone to please, be valiant, and if you see something suspicious, report it to your local sheriff’s office. Together we can make Clifton Forge safe again.

Ink Night at the Sip’n Bite

Inked owner Paislee Kleinfield

Last Friday night (August 8th) the halls of the club filled with ink enthusiasts under the auspice of madam Vivianna who oversaw a packed establishment. The usual crowd and newcomers, brim with energy and sensuality, arrived all along the evening, probably attracted by the mixture of naked flesh, the free bar, and the opportunity of earning a new tattoo during the “Show us your tatts” part of the evening.

The event, sponsored by Paislee Kleinfield, owner of Inked, drew all kinds of participants flamboyantly showing their ink work. When asked for the reasons for the event miss Kleinfield told us “half the reason people get tattoos is cause they’re pretty and they want to show them off. I figure why not dedicate a whole night to it?”

Of course, the event will be good publicity to her miss Paislee’s shop, as the ink artist mentioned, and as the etiquette of the Sip N’ Bite is lax on the type or quantity of clothing inside the club, the marriage (if just for a night) seems like a match made in heaven… or a contract made by a succubus from hell.

Some of the designs on display during the evening.

Of course, the event was more than just a business enterprise. “Think of it as the same concept as an art gallery,” said miss Paislee, “except instead of canvas it’s skin. Everyone likes looking at well-done art, just cause it’s on a person doesn’t change that. And by sponsoring it gets the name of the shop and my artists out there and on the radar for the people in town who didn’t know about us, to begin with.”

And with that in mind, if you are curious about learning more about tattoos, or getting one for yourself (just make sure you are not drunk and under a bet, as this reporter can attest) go take a look at Inked, which is located in Railroad Av., besides the Brothers Grimm Bakery and our own office, just across from the Police Station.

– Photos and text Jiriel Fenix

Cold garbage

CLIFTON FORGE, Va. — it was seven years ago when a mysterious garbage bag was found by local fishermen on Clifton Lake. The bag contained the dismembered body of local resident Joanne Moonling. Autopsies revealed that the 47 year old single mother had died from mysterious causes.

Joanne had been missing for 6 months when her remains were found. At the time she left behind her 17 year old son Ash Moonling. Joanne’s killer was never caught and the case is still open till this day. The only suspect in the cases was her son Ash Moonling. Family friends claimed the two had a dysfunctional relationship that could have led to the murder.

However, no evidence has ever been found nor confirmed. “It’s obvious that it was her son.” Said neighbor Kevin Pratt. “The Moonlings rarely had guests. The boy was living there alone for two months till he reported her missing.”

Before Joanne went missing police had been called to the residents twice before due to claims of abuse and violence between the two. Ash Moonling served six months in a Virgina correctional facility for boy’s in 2012 for domestic violence. He filed claims against his Mother that were dropped shortly after. He was released from the correction facility in early 2013 three weeks before his mother’s disappearance.

Recently when asked to comment on his mother’s murder Ash Moonling refused to speak claiming that he had no involvement. The case remains cold however Joanne Moonling has not been forgotten. If you have any information on this case it is advised that you contact the Clifton Forge Sheriff’s Office.

-Amber Greene

From a Concerned Citizen

When tragedy strikes, we look to those in power for guidance. We look to the leaders to see what step to take next. From the recent attacks on local businesses such as the Sip n’ Bite and Suds to a body washing upon the shores of our town, it appears as though leadership is not to be found. The recently elected mayor hides within his office. When he is seen out, it is not where he should be. Instead of comforting and reassuring the residents of Clifton Forge that justice will prevail and that they are safe within their own community, he has been found at Roady’s, participating by judging a wet t-shirt contest as well as visiting for their latest event which saw mayor Vishaal Khuran stripping his shirt off and riding upon a mechanical bull.

Everyone is allowed their fun and pleasure, there is no question of that. However, when a community is concerned, when the residents are frightened of what is going on within their town, those in leadership roles should be looking for ways to help the general population. This small town of Clifton Forge has become home to many, myself included. I know many who voted for Mr. Khuran, and I will openly admit that I did as well with hope of seeing a community that is bettered by the leadership of someone placed into the position. The article recently printed within the Telegraph shows that while Mr. Khuran shows interest in helping the community, he is not seeing the big picture and he is not seeing the very serious impacts from the recent tragedies within the local community.

So far, while Mr. Khuran promised a great deal, his promises have fallen flat. We have not heard from the mayor. Not a single statement from his office has been made, not a single word heard. No news conferences have been put together.

Instead, the mayor remains a turtle hiding with his head in his shell. Mr. Khuran, it is time for you to lead the people of this town. We elected you for a reason. Be the leader that we wanted, be the leader that we elected. You have failed this town with your silence, Mr. Khuran.


A concerned resident of Clifton Forge

Chaos unfolding upon Clifton Forge

I have yet to either introduce myself or thought it relevant to write a leader for any Telegraph issue. But now it seems at last it is appropriate I take the time to do so. My name is Caspian Douglas, and I have worked for newspapers like the Guardian, Die Zeit and the Herald before moving to settle down in the town of Clifton Forge which I’m now proud to call my home.

During my time here I have followed a mayor’s rise to power, seen the change of leads at the local clinic and gotten to know the town’s many colourful residents. Regrettably I have also had to witness, report on and been made aware of the criminal and violent side of Clifton Forge, and although I strongly support our Sheriff, Max Holden, I would like to take the opportunity to ask everyone out there to look out for one another. 

In a town where even the local priest is an avid fan of the Matrix, and easily convinced that one of the actors is in town to hand out autographs, people trade in dog’s teeth to fool aged men into believing into the unnatural, and where some young men are scared of the dark and others see it fit to wear arms and armour in broad daylight, just for fun, it is easy to worry, as an outsider, that when a New York times bestselling author invites everyone for a town wide larp, chaos and confusion will be soon to follow. 

This is why I now, as someone who has come to see this town as my home, despite the crime and violence I have to report on, urge all citizens to be careful during these festivities, and please, please use only soft rubber weapons in the coming games. I think it’s safe to say that no one wants any additional bloodshed. 

With this in mind, please go out there and enjoy yourself! And look to our last page for a tasty home made recipe on fake blood!

Ps. We at the Clifton Forge would like to apologize for our delay in publishing, but unfortunately one of our reporters became a little too excited when writing up her article and refused to let it go.

A promising collaboration

There have been a few noticeable chances around our sleepy little town. We have not only a new mayor in office but there has been a changeover at the Clifton Forge clinic! Dr. Dallas Crowley has taken up the reins as Director, and now the two of them are teaming up to make Clifton Forge a healthier place to live.

Our reporter, Caspian Douglas, has sat down with each of them in order to give our readers an idea of what the future might hold for us. As Dr. Crowley describes it “The Clinic is up for some critical upgrades.”

With Dr. Dallas Crowley and Mayor Vishaal Khuran working together it looks as though Clifton Forge will have a bright future. Some of the plans they have in work involve facilitating funding through donations and government (state wide and federal). They hope to use these funds to accomplish multiple improvements within Clifton Forge such as:

  • Creating a cheaper and more readily available prescription program for much needed and life saving medications including: insulin, epinephrine, chemotherapy treatments, anticonvulsants, and steroids.
  • Increasing the mental health program availability to allow for more counseling services available for our citizens. Especially given the trauma our city has faced in the recent weeks.
  • Create a better rehabilitation program aimed at fighting opioid addiction and maintaining care during recovery. 
  • Creating a medical exchange program for expensive but necessary medical equipment such as needles.

Dr. Crowley was clear in pointing out that the health and wellbeing of this community’s inhabitants is of paramount importance to her and that she will go above and beyond to ensure that any needs shall be met. And, with the help of Mr. Khuran the future looks bright for those who need medical assistance within our fair city.

According to Dr. Crowley, an opioid program was started by her predecessor before she stepped into the role of director and she intends to pursue it. She’s also in negotiations with the insurance companies contracted with local businesses, working with them on implementing wellness programs that will allow for decreased premiums for enrolled members.

“As I said, sir, I take this job seriously and I consider it my personal responsibility to look after the health of those who call Clifton Forge, home. Whatever needs this community has, they will be addressed. Luckily for me, I happen to work with a Mayor who fully supports my efforts.”
-Dr. Dallas Crowley

I for one am excited to see where Dr. Crowley and Mr. Khuran are able to take us in the future and as a citizen of Clifton Forge I will do my best to assist them in reaching these goals. They are doing their best to build a brighter, healthier, future for us all and the Telegraph is behind them 100%.

-Caspian Douglas

Dr. Dallas Crowley and Mayor Vishaal Khuran /Photo: Otto Munch

Et tu, Gabriella?

The Roman party at the Sip’n Bite ended in a violent and bloody note when a mysterious woman, very in the spirit of the night, stabbed Doctor Selena Cain with what appears to be a short sword. The woman, identified by some as Gabriella Flores escaped before anyone could stop her. Later the paramedics mentioned that if it hadn’t been for the doctor’s friends and a few other guests taking part in the festivity who were able to stabilize miss Cain, the night would have ended in tragedy. Doctor Selena Cain was taken to the local clinic to be attended and the doctors hope she will recover soon.
-Jiriel Fenix

Image: Jiriel Fenix

In the service of our Lord

Our reporter Caspian Douglas has sat down with Father Ocampo of the local Catholic Church to talk about the state of our town, as well as many other intriguing stories. 

What our reporter assumed would be the normal routine of a priest enraged at the newly appointed mayor attending events where young women flaunt their bodies, as indicated by a proceeding phone call to set up the interview, turned into something with a bit more flavour. And although the wet t-shirt contest in question was indeed discussed, this motorcycle riding dog and cat loving Father of the church had so much more to share. 

Father Ocampo was transferred to Clifton Forge to restore the Christian Faith in our community three months ago, and confesses to only one sin. Over eating. Besides this sin, and the already mentioned love for animals, the priest, who has served for about twenty years at this point in time is perhaps best described as an old man with a young, vivid mind. He describes himself as a fan of Christian rock music, and, he points out, just a person like everyone else. This is what he wants others to see when he meets his congregation. Someone who is just like them. 

A well meaning and good natured, understanding man, the Father says that although he has met many Christians in Clifton Forge, very few actually come to visit the Church itself. Something he attributes to millennials and their way of thinking and using the internet to connect to each other, rather than to meet in a quote “Stuffy old building”. For these reasons, Father Ocampo has focused on meeting people outside of the Church as well. He gives as an example how he loves to debate with one of the young men working at Roady’s, and how he feels he in this way has a part in helping him sort out his life. He wants people to see that not only is he, but also god, there to listen, talk and debate, and points out that now more than ever does the Catholic Church need to listen to young people and work with them, more than to stick to their old ways and shun them. As long as it doesn’t harm others. 

The father wants to thank all of Clifton Forge for the love and prayers and all the donations and work put in to keep the congregation working, and to connect with the young people out there, suggests using the hashtag #prayforclifton , although our reporter, who is openly agnostic, remains to this date a little uncertain in what context. It might even have been an attempt at a joke by the jolly old man. But who knows, as they say God works in mysterious ways. 

After much talking, among which our reporter was kindly invited to come and visit the church, which he regretfully has not yet managed to do, some prayer and discussions of love the interview at last found its way to the topic of which the father had wanted to come and talk about. The state of the town and our new Mayor. 

After drinking some of the water offered by our reporter and clearing his throat, the priest went on to say this about our new Mayor: 

“Now about this new mayor, I find it troubling that while our own Clifton businesses are getting attacked. Including the lovely  Sumaya Abdi, who i will mention gave me the most amazing bath soap i’ve ever had. Has not once come out and made a public statement on these attacks. Instead he has been supported by nightclubs, and doing wet T-shirt contests. Spraying young women who had no intent to participate in it.  I have come here to beg our mayor, please your city needs you. Be a proper example, do what you said you would in your campaign, I have yet to see one public outing of you making Clifton cleaner. Yet when you said there was nothing out of the ordinary regarding the levels of crime in our city. Yet we have masked criminals still on the loose!” 

“For the rest of you out there. I will pray for you, and support you. We should all go visit Suds, and help a young business out while they are recovering from the damages to their store.”

As the interview was about to wrap up however, and talk turned briefly to the crime levels in town, it all took a turn toward the strange. With our reporter briefly mentioning an interview in which he spoke to Special Agent Alex Smith about the raid on the Tavola Calda, it seemed the priest was at once convinced of some sort of conspiracy against him, where actor Mr Hugo Weaving would be in town, made up as his character Agent Smith from the Matrix movie franchise. The priest did seem very excited about the prospect of meeting the actor and get his autograph, as well as to perhaps get to hear a line from one of his movies, in person. 

It turns out Father Ocampo is also a huge fan of the Matrix, and has even written some online fanfiction on the character Neo, and how he is very much like that of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately however our reporter could not offer the old priest the opportunity to meet neither Neo, Agent Smith or Hugo Weaving in person. But who knows, with events that are about to unfold in town over the coming month, who might show up? Of this can only be said, that God works in mysterious ways. 

-Caspian Douglas


There is a new club in town! The Clifton Forge Camera Club is working with the Telegraph to host a photography contest. The theme is simple! Your favorite place in Clifton Forge! Help take us on a visual tour of the city and vote on the photographs you like the most. The photos entered will be put on exhibit at a secret location and the winner’s photo will be the new header for the Telegraph and be featured in the following issue!