Ask Sunday

Welcome back readers! And happy middle of June! I’m excited to come back to my desk to find some great little insights into the issues that plague our beautiful little town. Ones you’ve graciously… or needyly… have brought to me, seeking answers and advice.

►Want to seek advice from Ask Sunday? Contact Faeryn Murphy (TheresaHerondale)◄

So… shall we?

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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My boyfriend likes to dress up in a very realistic wolf costume and run around our lawn at night. He refuses to respond to me when he’s in that costume, just barks, growls and howls. It bothers me and makes me feel like maybe he needs help. What should I do?
Signed,
Reluctant Zoo Keeper
~~~{Your reply}~~~
Dear Reluctant Zoo Keeper,
Well, we all have our little fetishes, huh? Just how realistic is this costume? And if it’s truly realistic, what are they doing? A comic con or something? Cosplay of some sort? There’s talk about a comic con coming to Virginia, I’m sure. Maybe talk to them about joining. It’s possible that even bringing it up while they’re wearing it might break character enough for them to talk to you in the future as well. If not, contact the Clifton Forge clinic and see if they’ve opened that psych ward up yet. He might be in need of some therapy.
❥Ask Sunday

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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I really like this woman I keep seeing around town. I’m just not quite sure how to approach her about it. Sometimes we chat, and when we do, she seems interested, but it never goes beyond chatting. I even got her number while talking innocently about a new business opening up. Should I just skip the formalities and send her a dick pic?
Signed,
Snaps
~~~{Your Reply}~~~
Dear Snaps,
I am refraining from laughing. Okay… to be honest? I’m laughing. Pardon me here, but are you serious? Or are you too young to be writing in to me? In other words? No. Do not send a dick pic. You could approach her like a normal person and just ask her out. But if your mind goes to dick pic first, you might want to just leave her be and maybe read some articles on how to be smooth with women.
❥Ask Sunday

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Dear Ask Sunday,
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Things have been a little bit slow moving in the bathroom department of our house this last week, it’s been getting very backed up and painful. My boyfriend told me that the best cure for this was anal sex, after a lot of discussion he finally talked me into giving it a go, things were getting pretty desperate so it was worth a try. We got naked and I got on all fours, thankfully remembered the golden rule about lube, it was tight and uncomfortable and after he was done I felt pretty raw and it’s been sore to sit down. He text me this morning and asked if we can try it again because he is still constipated! What should I do?
Yours,
Stretched and Raw
~~~{Your reply}~~~
Dear Stretched and Raw,
Constipation can be one of those problems that stops you in your tracks. Literally…. stopping your tracks. Okay, okay… moving on. It sounds to me like your boyfriend is trying to grasp at anything and everything to get things moving again. I bet he’s been speaking to that crazy haired, smells like patchouli, pretty sure they did far too much acid fairly recently kind of person who is always ready to spout out cures and treatments faster than the quack you paid through the nose for just to find out you simply needed some Cortisol cream to help that rash you had on your butt the week before. I say try it again… once. If he’s not breaking free by then? Tell him to stop hanging out at Whole Paychecks and read a medical journal.
❥Ask Sunday

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